Chances are, it won't be you. That task will likely be left to those closest to you...your spouse, or family, or friends. And what do you suppose will be said about you?
I recently finished re-reading John Maxwell's "The 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership", and in the chapter titled "The Law of Legacy", he posed this question; "What do you want people to say at your funeral?"
As I contemplated this thought, I began to reflect upon an unsettling experience from last October, when I was one of the first people to arrive on the scene of an accident between an SUV and a motorcycle. The details have been forever burned into my memory.
I was driving to a charity golf event in Northern California, and as I rounded a blind corner on a remote country road, I came upon a man frantically waving his arms in an attempt to slow me down. I pulled over, dialed 9-1-1, and simultaneously jumped out of my car to see how I could help.
The scene wasn't pretty.
The motorcyclist was face down in the middle of the road, and there was twisted metal and debris everywhere. The impact from the collision had caused the rider's helmet to come off, and his injuries were severe.
As I knelt down to try to revive him, I witnessed what I believed to be his last breath.
The 9-1-1 operator instructed me to turn him over and administer CPR. By this time, a couple more people had arrived and offered to help. As we gently turned him over onto his back, the hopelessness of the situation became very apparent.
Sadly, our efforts to revive him were futile, and as the paramedics showed up and took over, all that was left to do was to cover his lifeless body with one of those familiar yellow tarps.
As you can imagine, the events of this day clouded my thinking for quite some time. And several questions kept coming to my mind, almost haunting me. What was his name? How old was he? Did he have a family?
I'm not exactly sure why I wanted to know these things...Maybe I felt like if I knew more about him I might gain some insight into HOW he lived, and WHY I had been allowed to be present when he stopped living.
About a week later, I was able to locate his obituary in a local newspaper. It turns out that he was a husband and a father of three children. He had nine brothers and sisters, and eighteen nieces and nephews. The obituary spoke reverently of him, as a beloved son, brother, "ultra cool uncle", and co-worker. It also noted his love of nature and that he enjoyed hiking, biking, skiing, and snowboarding. And finally, it said that he would be remembered for his sense of humor, generosity, greatness of heart, and lightness of spirit.
A beautiful and heart-felt tribute.
But there were two other lines within the obituary struck me like a bolt of lightning. "He especially loved playing with his kids", and "He recently started working for a company closer to home so that he could be with his family, everyday".
I mean, isn't that what it's all about...the love of family? I am a husband, and the father of a young daughter. For the past several years, my career has included much travel, and I've spent quite a bit of time away from home.
As I continued to search for meaning in this event, I came to a sobering realization.
It's pretty unlikely that anyone ever gets the chance to write their own obituary or eulogy.
Life (or Death) usually doesn't seem to work out that way.
But everyone of us has the opportunity to LIVE in the way that we'd like our eulogy to read.
What would you like said about YOU?
I've decided that I'm going to write mine now. But more importantly, I'm getting busy living like the man that I want to be. I'm doing so in the hopes that it might make writing my obituary a bit easier for others when that time ultimately comes, and to provide a blueprint for how I wish to live my life.
"Today we say goodbye to a cherished friend. His family and his faith were very dear to him. In addition to being a patient, loving, and faithful husband and father, he was an amazingly effective author, mentor, speaker, and coach. He found joy in making others laugh, and had a way of being funny without trying to be funny. He had a unique gift and talent for positively influencing the lives of others, in a meaningful way.
His vision, passion, and confidence, combined with his likability, boyish-charm, and magnetism caused the right resources and people to be naturally drawn to him. He was always willing to provide help, counsel, and trust-based insights to any who asked, and he approached all of his business and personal dealings with a commitment to finding principle-centered solutions that propelled his clients and friends to new heights of understanding, personal growth, success, and prosperity.
Surely his impact will live on throughout those he touched, and his teachings on success, optimism, happiness, and persistence helped others to experience positive breakthroughs in all areas of their lives.
He took actions that were motivated by doing what was right. He had a warm and friendly smile for everyone, and he spent his days in inspired action, fulfilling the work that God intended for him to do. His charity continues to do great things across the country, and he created hope and encouragement for those in need.
Most importantly, his motives were pure. Subsequently, he was highly sought-after by people of remarkable influence. His outer successes were evident and plentiful, but his inner successes were exponentially magnificent by comparison.
He is loved, and will be missed by many - especially his wife and daughter, for whom he dedicated his work and his life."
This is who I aim to be, and this is how I hope to be remembered.
We only get one chance at this thing-called-life. What can you do today to start living from YOUR purpose?
Might I suggest taking a shot at writing your own obituary or eulogy?
My sincere hope is that you live a long, happy, healthy, and successful life.
Until next time, be creative!
J. Shoop
www.coachshoop.com
J. Shoop, is a personal coach and mentor, and the author of "The Other Secret". His mission in life is to inspire, educate, and help others to become consciously aware of their unlimited potential for greatness. For more info on his services and to connect with him, send an email to jshoop@jshoop.com.
